I work in the insurance business so I have dealt with the tests associated with a cancer Diagnosis (on the claims side of things). So I immediately started asking my mom questions. What stage is it? What kind is it? Where is this cancer center and who is this thoracic surgeon? When is the appointment? When are they doing the PET scan?
It then dawned on me that I was probably overwhelming her... Bless her heart, she had no idea of half of what I was talking about. I got the surgeon's name and told mom I would start researching stuff... I realized shortly before hanging up that my little brother (He was 33 about to be 34 but he will always be my little brother) hadn't said a word during the entire conversation... I asked if he was still on the line and he said yes. Mom asked if he was ok and he didn't respond. She then said through tears that she was going to beat this and that we had nothing to worry about.
I got off the phone and started screaming at no one... How could this have happened!?! Any of my friends would tell you that I am not a violent person in the least but I swear if that Doctor had been in front of me right then, I can't tell you how many people it would have taken to keep me from beating him to a bloody pulp!
I called my brother to check on him and to vent... I yelled about the Dr and how he could have avoided this by giving mom the CT scan months ago. I was just mad at the world and my brother was still in shock.
After I calmed down, we had a very candid conversation about the situation and I told him that there were going to be times that I was going to need to rely on him to be there for her when I can't... He lives so much closer to her and can get to her in less than four hours vs. my 10 hours in a car or a 500.00 plane ride then a two hour rental car ride from the airport...
In order to keep us both busy, I told him to help me research this Surgeon and the Cancer Center/Hospital that mom was going to. Hoping this would give us a project that would keep us both busy and occupied, I started researching myself. I looked up all the different types of Non Small Cell lung cancer which was what they said it was... Different treatments, etc...
It all depended on whether the cancer had left the original mass and spread or (metastasized) to a different part of her body... I called mom and my brother to talk to them about my findings...
Now we had something to hope and pray for... That it hadn't spread...
Three weeks go by...
The CT scan confirmed it was lung cancer and she also had Thyroid cancer. The lung cancer hadn't spread!!!
I have since learned that a dual diagnosis of cancer is pretty rare. Normally a tumor is confirmed one type of cancer and it spread to another part of the body, It is still called the original type of cancer. The Dr confirmed that mom actually does have two types of cancer but the Thyroid cancer was really small and slow growing so they decided to attack the lung cancer first...
Mom called with the plan. They were going to remove her entire left lung and it would be a slow healing process but she could still lead a normal life with one lung and she would be cancer free... I can't really convey the emotions that went through my head... I was happy and scared for my mom at the same time. I flew up and we got a hotel room in downtown St louis the night before the surgery... My mom, aunt, brother, stepdad and myself had a good dinner. We joked and ate and then went outside and took silly pictures in front of the St Louis arch. I will never forget that evening... It was the first time in my adult life that our family had ever done anything touristy together. We had never gone on vacation together before and I later told mom that we have to start vacationing together.
The next morning, we got up and went to the hospital at Oh God:30am and mom was prepped for surgery... We were able to stay with her for a little while and then they started the drugs. I remember at one point, my brother came in and the nurse said, "Here comes your baby!" I was so nervous I could have puked but that made mom smile and that helped me...
They shoo'd us out at one point so they could get started... It was going to be at least 5-7 hours... They were supposed to call us periodically to give us updates. So when they told us the Dr wanted to talk to us after an hour and a half, we didn't think anything of it. My brother had gone to the car to take a nap. I told my stepdad I would go answer it. I walked up to the phone and the Dr asked for my stepdad. I went and got him and watched his face as he picked up the phone... My aunt came and stood by me and I kept staring at my stepdad's face... I was looking for a sign of good news... The Dr kept talking and when my stepdad turned away from me, I knew something was wrong. My aunt started crying silently and I told her to calm down. We don't know what is going on yet... My stepdad and the Dr talked for way too long and when he hung up, my stepdad sighed and said, "It's inoperable. They're closing her up and the Dr will be around to see us in recovery in about 30 minutes."
An hour later we're sitting in a circle around my mom in recovery. She knew something was wrong but she didn't say anything... She was still doped up and out of the blue told us we needed to go to Hawaii.. lol It was a good tension breaker..We were all sitting around waiting for the Dr. He showed up, pulled up a chair and my mom looked at him and said, "I shouldn't be seeing you until tomorrow. What's going on."
Doctor: "Any time we operate on cancer, we always take a biopsy to confirm it's cancer. There are two types of lung cancer. Non Small Cell, which is the more common type and the type that I was sure you had and then there is the less common Small Cell Lung Cancer. You have Small Cell Lung Cancer. It is not curable but it is treatable. I had the lab check it twice and so did I."
Us: silence.
Doctor: I have contacted an Oncologist so you can start treatment. This type of cancer is usually well treated with Chemotherapy and Radiation.
In hind sight, I should never have said this out loud. I don't know why I did but it kept me from asking the question I was too scared to ask...
Me: "I read that Small Cell Lung Cancer is linked to smoking. Is that true?"
Dr: " Small Cell Lung cancer is almost exclusively linked to smoking. Appox. 99% of all small cell lung cancer cases are either smokers or ex-smokers."
Me" Why don't you go ahead with the surgery. It hasn't spread, right?"
Dr: "We almost never operate on Small Cell lung cancer. It is very aggressive and the benefit of operation doesn't outweigh the risk. Your mom is going to need all of her strength for the chemo and radiation." he turns to mom... "The oncologist will talk more about this to you. They will be calling soon to set up an appointment.
He said a few more things and walked away. I immediately texted a Dr friend of mine and asked him about small cell lung cancer. I didn't like his response. It mimicked the reason why I didn't ask the question I was too scared to ask the Dr... What do you mean Its not curable?!?
We went back to the hotel and my brother got on the phone with his wife to catch her up to speed... I fought it as long as I could but I finally gave in and started researching everything I could on small cell lung cancer...
It responds well to chemo and radiation... Yeah. the Dr told us that already... Its exclusively linked to smoking... Yeah the Dr told us that too.. Next page. Prognosis. "Oh My God! Oh My God!"
The Dr said my mom was somewhere between stages two and three...
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